Word nerd gets a job.

As I was driving all over central Indiana, first to fill out papers for a background check – apparently a background check consists of lots and lots of paperwork, not being interrogated by a hairy cop – and then to take a drug test in an obscure clinic – so obscure that my two-hour trip took three – I had a lot of time to reflect on life, sunshine, and how I was too hot to wear a cardigan in the car but too cold to go without a cardigan once I was inside.

I’m so complex.

Mostly I was grateful, a) because I can afford to own not just this cold-warm gray cardigan, but multiple cardigans of varying consistencies, b) because I have a car to drive me to ridiculous adult appointments, c) because my friend gave me back my AUX cord so I could jam to obscure indie techno, and d) because I havejob which requires me to get a background check and drug test.

I was never afraid of not getting an internship – not that it was a confidence thing. I applied for every single position with some combination of PR/Digital Media/Marketing/Social Media Editing/Copywriting in the title.Once I applied for 8 jobs in a week. The odds of getting at least one interview were pretty high. And sure enough, out of the 2 interviews I finally had, one of them wanted me. Bless.

If you’re an English major, reeled in to this post by my snappy URL, you can probably identify with the overwhelming relief of finding a job you don’t hate. Since you announced your major, everyone’s been like, “Why don’t you just go straight to working at Starbucks?” or “You know, getting published as a writer is really hard” or the oh-so-popular “To teach?” Believe it or not, all ye naysayers, not every English major wants to work in a coffeeshop, write a novel, or teach.

The job market for English majors is broader than any other major except for maybe, like, business majors, or something equally soul-sucking. We know how to write and communicate – which are skills all businesses need. The problem of unemployment is all in our heads. There is no spoon.

English majors can do anything. Want proof? During my three years in college, I have

  • designed and edited a literary magazine (check out The Broken Plate for a delicious sample. Any mistakes are the other design editor’s fault.)
  • written and drawn my own digital comic book (and then lost it in the Great Vanishing Flashdrive Debacle of October ’15)
  • designed a brochure for the CJC department (I’m pretty sure there are copies of it in their office)
  • currently work as a PR intern for the English department, which means I get to write for their Twitter/Facebook/Wordpress accounts, develop the voice of the department (i.e. branding, if you want to get technical), make flyers and posters and tons of little fun pretty things to promote events, classes, and visiting speakers.

I never thought I would be doing any of these things. But if there is any opportunity to put your learning to practice, even if its something you’re only partly qualified for, do it. Find what you’re good at, find what you can get practice in, and freaking do it. Carpe freaking diem.

My job with C– B– I– (no offense, but for privacy reasons, you know)  is almost exactly the same thing as what I’m doing for the English department, except it’ll be for an actual real-life corporation that impacts the community in all sort of positive and uplifting ways. Hopefully this will lead to a permanent PR position at another real-life corporation. I never thought marketing would interest me –  my exact words were, “I don’t want to be a business robot, Mom!” and yet here I am.

There are a lot of things to be thankful for, which leads me into Things I Know For Sure:

  1. You literally have to apply to everything to get anything.
  2. Podcasts make long trips fun (thank you, This American Life).
  3. Job descriptions are intense, but odds are you already know how to do most of those things.

Also, if anyone is interested, there will probably be a post soon with some sample designs from work and my private creative annals. Design is another thing I never expected to get into, and yet…

I didn’t mean to write this, but it happened anyway.

***I didn’t mean to write about the election. It’s just that after being exposed to it for so long, I realized there was some very weird stuff going on in my soul, and some of it had to do with the Trump debacle. So here we go.

This election clustercuss, namely the impossible rise of one repulsive swamp-sucking failed business-wart, has got me all anxious and mad as hell. But that’s fine, right? Everyone gets worked up during campaign season. Anxiety isn’t a big deal.

Except, well, maybe it is.

I always thought anxiety and worry were the same thing: now they feel like two different categories in the same field of fear.Worry overlaps with concern all the time. It can be a signal that something is going on you should pay more attention to. But anxiety is just…bad. It’s just bad. And nobody says, “I’m anxious.” They say, “I’m worried.” Like we’re trying to protect ourselves from panic by masking it with a more gentle, more congenial kind of fear.

Am I anxious? Affirmative. How anxious am I? Hella. Why am I anxious? Besides the collapse of our present political system and the possible election of one of the most repellent, gross men the earth has ever burped up, I don’t know.

A raging hatred of Trump surges through my veins. At the sound of his name, my knee-jerk reaction is to scowl as loudly as the situation allows (and yes, scowling loudly is totally a thing). So I dislike one of the election runners, big whoop. Everyone has a least favorite candidate. I’m more than willing to rant for hours on how terrible, hypocritical, disgusting, sexist, bigoted, financially irresponsible, ugly, wrong that Trump is, and it would be the best hours of my life. Which means I’m just as terrible, just as hypocritical, and just as wrong.

I admitted this to my mom over subs and fries. Mom doesn’t like Trump at all, but she’s wiser and has seen many more elections than I. She shook her head at me. “Hating isn’t going to help. There’s enough hatred out there already, and it’s not making anything better.”

Yes, I’m allowed to care about who leads my country. Yes, Trump’s morals and lack of experience would make him a terrible president, but what politician can honestly live out a moral code and still be a politician? Yes, I’m discouraged by the campaign season so far, but that does not give me an excuse to hate another human. Trump is digging himself deeper into a hole, and if I dug it for him I’d only be digging my own grave.

THIS ISN’T AN EXCUSE TO NOT VOTE. Taking no action is just as harmful as taking hateful action. I intend on voting for the candidate I believe will make the best POTUS, and that candidate will not be Trump. But I still have a responsibility, as a citizen, to try and better my country by voting.

My future, God’s grace and never-ending love, and the Church’s responsibility to care for the earth and those who inhabit it, will not change because of who wins the election. And while Trump-bashing is so, so much fun, acting in hate will only inspire more hate, and more hate. And a world of hate would suck.

So, to finish off this political potluck, here’s some Things I Know For Sure.

  1. Anxiety won’t solve anything. Let it go.
  2. Hatred won’t solve anything. Let it go.
  3. Televised debates are worse than that show about Honey Boo-Boo.